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Super Bore Commercials???

Yes, I'm grading the commercials this year. Why? Because I'm BORED! So I'm giving grades, and know that my grades are going to be the opposite of what USA Today's grades are going to be. So without ado...

Bud Light - Hidden in the Office. Nice idea (hiding bottles in the office) but the execution was horrible. It wasn't funny, it's probably going to be repeated ad nausem. Grade is a D.
Burger King Whopperettes. Folks, this was painfully amusing. As in it was painful to watch the first time, and if Burger King is smart (which they aren't for ALLOWING this commercial) we'll see it again. Another D.
Toyota Camry. Dull, dull, dull. Like most all car commercials. Dull also is the grade, a D.
FedEx Prehistoric Delivery. Ok, we have our first winner!! This was amusing, it was funny, the kicking of the small raptor followed by the brontosaurus stomping the guy was perfect. This one gets an A-.
Bud Light - Running from the Bear. Eh, not really memorable. Maybe a C- at best.
V For Vendetta trailer. Waiting for the movie, no grade as I've seen traliers before on this one.
Diet Pepsi - The Rap Artist. Actually saw this commercial earlier today, was not impressed. Pepsi, please... give it up. It wasn't amusing then, it's not amusing now. No higher than a D.
Aleve with Leonard Nimoy. ARGH! NO! F, instant F!
Ameriquest - Hospital misunderstanding. See the Aleve rating.
Bud Light - Fixing the Roof. Ok, it was amusing... but not worth remembering. Grade is a C at best.
Diet Pepsi - Stunt Double. Ok, this one is funnier than the first one with Jackie Chan. It gets a B for humor, especially the bit at the end.
Cars Trailer. Ok, the movie is starting to look a little more interesting than the earlier traliers indicated, but still... No grade for trailes.
Budweiser - Streaker. Until the sheared sheep showed up, it looked like what we've been used to... then all of a sudden we've got a streaker on the field. Humor gives it a B- for the grade.
MobileESPN Phone. Like most SportsCenter ads, it wasn't memorable. Grade is a C-.
CareerBuilder.com. Like the commercial last year, painful, stupid and DUMB. F.
Buick Escalade. This one actually was at least decent in it's presentation, and a little deceptive to begin with. Gets a B for effort.
Mission Impossible 3. No grade for movie trailers, although because it's Tom Cruise it deserves an instant F (for Flake).
Dove Self-Esteem Fund. This one gets a few points for presentation and for the fact that it's not an ad for the product. Grade C+.
Walt Disney "The Shaggy Dog". Yes, it's a movie trailer. For a remake. It gets a grade because of using Chris Behrman for the voice-over: F!
Ford Escape Hybrid. Kermit going through lengths? It gets points for creative use of an icon. Grade B.
Michelob Ultra Dark - Wide Open. Michelob pulls out the garbage that Miller Light was infamous for. Very bad, gets a D.

[No doubt you notice a pattern for beer commercials? I don't drink beer, so I don't like either the beverage or the effort to promote it.]

GoDaddy.com. Ick... it was bad, bad, bad... D+.
Poseidon trailer. No grade, another remake.
Gilette Fusion. Vaguely amusing, but not really worth it. Grade C-.
Overstock.com. Nope. Looked like a recycled ad from a recycled company. C- for the grade.
DisneyWorld 50th Anniversary - Typical ad from Disney. C+.

Halftime... and more late.

[Update at 7:06pm]

Ok, I just HAVE to grade this one... ABC's Lost [using Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love"] - HILARIOUS! It gets an A, just for audacity.

[Update at 8:12pm]

A couple more:
Sprint Phones. Really bad, and a phone probably wouldn't survive as a weapon. C-
Ameriquest Air Turbulence. See the earlier ad by them. F.
T-Mobile Pebl phone. Good waste of special effects for a phone. C.
Sharpie retractable pens. Eh, it was an ad. C-.
Budweiser Young Clydesdale. Ok, we've got another A. It was quite touching, humorous and memorable, just like the post 9/11 commercial (when the team knelt across from Manhattan).
Hummer 3 Monsters. Ok, I'll admit, I found this one slightly amusing, with the parody of Godzilla and UltraMan. Still, it's a Hummer ad. Points off for that. B.
PS Cleaner - Unknown product, slightly amusing ad with the bio suits, but still... C-.
CareerBuilder.com call. Just as painful as the earlier ad, but the pun at the end lifts it to a C-.
Toyota Tacoma Truck. As they said, it was staged. I'd rather see a real truck get that sort of abuse. C-.

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Tal Greywolf

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